The JESSIEs

Welcome to the first Annual JESSIE Awards. JESSIEs are given out in a variety of categories and represent some of the Best (and Worst) People, Events, TV Shows, Movies of 2005. Here's the first installment. Read on…you may already be a winner!!

Best Party or Event I Attended: The Bigelow Wedding. Despite the heat and the rain, a wonderful time was had by all. Especially Kaylyn’s Uncle Paul, the disco-dancing French Canadian Math Professor. Memorable moments include Kay’s up North relatives making a mass exodus from the dance floor when “Baby Got Back” was played, Crunchy dancing with Sven’s mom and the photographer speaking in that weird pseudo-Austin Powers voice (‘allo) Honorable Mention: Greedy Snoody’s First Annual Fantasy Football Draft Day. Hearing “with the 3rd overall pick in the draft, Tom Brady’s Tight Butt selects…” just never stopped being funny.

Best Sporting Event I Attended: UM vs. Penn State Game. It was nice just to enjoy WINNING for a change, especially in such spectacular fashion. Not to mention that it was great to gloat on Monday to my boss, a Penn State Alumna. Honorable Mention: My brother's basketball game. The kid's the next Tim Duncan. Mark my words.

Worst Performance by a Sports Coach: (Tie) Jessica Bailey, Vote for Pedro and Lloyd Carr, UM football. This was a tough call. Lloyd, a perennial underachiever, provided me with some serious competition. Michigan lost, predictably to ND, Wiscy and OSU and rounded out an Alamo Bowl worthy season with another loss to Minnesota that I don’t think Crunchy parents will ever let us live down. On the other hand, I lost to Shitty Tractor for God’s sake. Unreal. Sure I could make excuses (only drafted Culpepper banking on a Minnesota homer trade with Crunchy and I couldn’t have foreseen the injury onslaught we suffered) but still, going from 11-3 last year to 4-9 this year is simply unacceptable. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Honorable Mention: Steve “Mooch” Mariucci, Vote for Pedro AND Detroit Lions

Best New TV show: How I Met Your Mother. This show hasn’t been laugh out loud funny every week, but it’s not everyday when you find a new show on TV that you can actually like, let alone stand watching. I think it has great potential and can only get better as the characters develop more.

Worst New TV show: Invasion. Dear ABC, Congratulations, you put a show on after Lost and made it look good in the commercials. Here’s a tip, though. Next time you do it, actually have a plot and move the story on a little faster. Uh, we knew that guy was an Alien in the Pilot, why did you wait to HINT at it until Episode 4? The only thing memorable about this show was the little girl yelling “Carliiiiiiita”. Sincerely, Jess. Honorable Mention: Reunion. Cool concept + 1980s references + world’s worst actors + sloooow moving story = Cancellation

Best Returning TV Show: Alias. Alias kicks ALL ass. It kicks my ass, your ass and every other show’s ass. Honorable Mention: (tie) The Office keeps getting funnier, and I'm way happy that Sandy and Kirsten are back and better than ever on The O.C.

Most Disappointing Returning Show: Gilmore Girls. Too many episodes with Lorelai and Rory fighting, obvious lack of sexual tension between Lorelai and Luke and they introduce an annoying kid. Downgrade. Honorable Mention: Lost showed WAY too many reruns and spent a lot of time leaving interesting stories hanging while exploring "the Tailaways". (Ana Lucia, I hate you). What about that Desmond dude? What happened to the French Lady?

Best New Website: Uh, this blog, of course. Honorable mention: Every one of my friends' blogs. ;)

Most Annoying Person at My Office: (Tie) My boss (obnoxious, overbearing and actually works 30% of the time), Formerly Cool Secretary (used be somewhat cool, called me chubby once), Retired Office Manager (Not sorry she’s not around anymore)