Drinkin' The Kool Aid

So why is it that every summer somehow I inexpicably convince myself that the Lions could ACTUALLY be good the following season. I believe I even went so far as to post the insane suggestion that they, ON PAPER, had the possibility to go 10-6 this season. Um. Yeah. I'm dumb.

After watching the debacle on Monday Night Football last night, I can only come to the following conclusions:

10. There's nothing scarier than a player being knocked out in a game. Thoughts are with Terry Fair and I'm glad to see that it looks like he's going to be alright. Everytime I see a guy on the stretcher I remember Mike Utley giving the Thumbs-Up at the Silverdome.

9. I still don't stand behind the Mike Williams pick. Yes, he's a physical freak, but did we really need yet another receiver. I mean, the kid's going to be great, don't get me wrong, but I just don't think the pick addressed a need. Besides that, as you'll see in my #1 conclusion, Joey doesn't have enough time to check off to get to the #4 reciever anyway. He'll never see the ball.

8. If the Lions didn't have Jason Hanson they'd literally never put points on the board. I'm pretty sure that our scoring in the red zone stats would make my brain explode. We just don't do it. God Bless Jason Hanson and his funky kicking shoe.

7. John Madden is a moron. I'm not sure I can take this guy another season. Yes, we all enjoy your video game. But your inane commentary and mastery of the obvious ("In the Red Zone, the Lions either need to throw for more touchdowns or score more touchdowns by running.") make me want to slap you.

6. All the people who were saying that Jeff Garcia should be the starter can sit down and be quiet now. Not only does he look worse than Joey, he looks TERRIBLE. This is seriously a Mariucci Pity Pick if I've ever seen one. The Jeff Garcia "Maybe I should have just retired after all" Face should now enter the Pantheon of faces. (An aside, at what other career are you considered all washed up at the age of 35? In my life, that means you have another good 25+ years left...)

5. Joey's not the problem. I'm not just a Harrington Apolgist here. I DO think he looks better than last year. Honestly, I think he could make the throws he wanted to if he had some damn time to throw the ball. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's a Pro Bowler by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't think he's THE problem on offense (see #1)

4. Why is it that we keep drafting SPEED and emphasizing SPEED and talking about SPEED and then the Rams look like they're running circles around us? Anyone? A little help here?

3. Am I wrong in thinking that the black jerseys are now cursed? They're kind of cool and everything, but I don't want to see them on again. Bad. Luck.

2. I'm still waiting for Mariucci to show me something, anything, to prove that he's the coach that his reputation suggests. Honestly, if we have another season like we had last year, I'm going to be one of the people chanting "Fire Mooch". At what point am I forced to come to the conclusion that the success in SanFran was a direct result of having talented guys (Young, Rice, TO) on the field who simply fit the West Coast Offense? I guess the jury's still out, but let's just say that I'm not ordering my "Got Mooch!" t-shirt just yet.

1. The Lions have perhaps assembled the worst excuse for an offensive line in the history of the game of football. I wish that sentence was hyperbole, but it's not. Anyone who thinks that Jeff Backus is even a mediocre left tackle should be kicked in the groin. And Raiola's been stinking up the joint since we drafted him. Until we put some time into actually getting players who can play and coaching them effectively, our offense will NEVER work. Until Joey can stand in the pocket without the constant threat of being hit, he'll never have time to make the deep throws. They pretty much force him to take his last option, a little 2-3 yard dumpout to the RB or TE for practically no gain. All I can say is that Matt Millen, you better get some OLinemen. Stat.

So that's it. I'm not giving up all hope because I'm a Lions fan and that's just how we are, but I can't say we've got a promising season ahead. See, and that's a problem in itself. The Lions looked like ass- but people showed up. Maybe if they stop selling out every game, the Fords will start to get it that people are beyond disappointed. who knows. All I know is that it's going to be a long season...