Ode to an Office Mom

I'm an Office Mom.

I don't know how to use computers. I save everything to my desktop. I never use shortcut keys. I call tech support 3-5 times a day. I'm convinced I will lose all my work every time I restart. I forward and open viruses. I've taken classes to learn Word and Excel and own a copy of "Microsoft Office for Dummies".

I'm actually in the office 2-3 days a week. I max out my sick and vacation time so I can stay home with my kids who are sick pretty much every day. If they're not sick, then their daycare is closed, they have a school play, field trip, parent-teacher conference, soccer game or dance recital.

I drink bad office coffee and 6 diet cokes a day. I eat weird leftovers and leave the Tupperware containers in the fridge for weeks.

I'm always cold. I keep a cardigan on the back of my chair to wear whenver I'm cold. I run my space heater in July. I ask everyone, "Isn't it FREEZING in here?"

I'm passive-agressive. I do work only for the people I like in my office. I cry in staff meetings.